Mom at Her Wits' End After Mother-in-Law 'Hijacks' Mother's Day for 7 Years Straight (2025)

Is Mother’s Day about moms or grandmothers? Things can get a little complicated.

A mother battling that dilemma took to Reddit to ask for advice about a complicated situation with her husband and mother-in-law (commonly abbreviated as MIL). “I’ve been a mother for 8 years. For 7 of those years, my MIL has found a way to completely hijack the day, along with my husband and our child,” she wrote. “My husband is an only child, raised by a single mother, and she guilts him into spending the entire day with her.” Sometimes, she spends the entire weekend with them.

“Even when she’s in my home, she makes the day all about herself,” the poster wrote. “She makes slick comments disguised as jokes, implying that it’s only her day.” She picks the food they eat and the music they listen to and the poster has “let a lot slide just to keep the peace.”

Mother’s Day 2024 was the poster’s breaking point. “She rejected everything I suggested we do or eat, with zero consideration that it’s also my day. And to top it off, she gave me attitude,” she remembered. “Right then and there, I decided I wasn’t spending this year’s Mother’s Day with her. I told my husband that last year.”

But when the poster “reminded” her husband of her ultimatum this week, “he threw a full-on tantrum.” Her husband accused her of “being petty and trivial,” and asked him to give “grace” since he’s an only child. “For context, my husband is 38—not exactly a child anymore,” the poster wrote.

The poster added that they’ve “never” spent a full Mother’s Day with her mom, and usually see her for a quick visit and to give her a present. Though her dad “celebrates” with her mom, she said there’s an “imbalance.”

The mother asked if she was wrong for “not wanting to spend every single Mother’s Day with my MIL.” She added, “I just don’t want to be irritated all day long. Please be honest—I’m trying to keep the peace while also protecting my peace.”

The commenters were overwhelmingly on the poster’s side. “Take your child and go spend a relaxing day with your mom. He can spend the day with his,” one wrote. They noted that they have four grandchildren and they think Mother’s Day is about “their nuclear units.”

Others urged her to keep the same energy for Father’s Day in June. “If he can't celebrate you, don't do anything more than a card from his son,” one said.

Another commenter encouraged her to “stop keeping the peace,” adding, “This only further enables their behavior and it shows them that you’re okay with it. Yes, there will be pushback, but it’s either that or stay in this vicious cycle until you break.”

The poster replied to that comment and wrote, “I’ve definitely been too nice for too long and now they’re both used to Mother’s Day being all about her.” She added that “generally” he isn’t a “momma’s boy” but that his mother uses the one holiday to “guilt” him. She also added in another comment that her mom has no issues with them not spending the day with her.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

One commenter defended the mother-in-law, writing, “She has nobody else in her life other than your son.” They added, “If she doesn’t act like this daily, if it was me, I probably would let her have this day and celebrate Mother’s Day on a different day.”

Another commenter wrote, “It’s Mother’s Day. You are your son’s mom. And your MIL is the mom of your husband. You have your anniversary and Valentine’s Day where your husband should celebrate with you.”